revolutionary love
What is your relationship with yourself and with others? How do you move through the world? Yoga is all about relationships. It is about how we relate to ourselves, to each other, and to our world. It is a practice of noticing how we relate to our thoughts, feelings, sensations, and experiences. With practice, we can start to recognize our triggers. We can become attune to how our bodies tighten, our hearts speed up, and our minds clench when we feel threatened. And when we are not in actual danger, we can learn to pause, to breathe, and to stay with the discomfort, even when we want to shut down or turn away. When we learn to hold this space for ourselves, and to truly be present with an open heart, it makes room for more authentic relationships with each other.
Valarie Kaur, in her beautiful book See No Stranger: A Memoir and Manifesto of Revolutionary Love, suggests that when we bump up against our own edges, or are confronted with an idea, situation, or person that is unfamiliar, that we approach the moment with wonder and curiosity and say, “You are a part of me I do not yet know.” Most of the time, when we feel that friction, it is a reflection of something we are struggling with in ourselves. For example, if we get agitated when we perceive someone else as being closed off, that might be a reflection of our own tendency to shut down and build walls. If we can think about yoga as a practice of building relationships, then we can look with wonder and curiosity at those edges and make room for getting to know ourselves and each other in different ways.
How we show up for ourselves matters. Because that translates to how we show up in the world and how we show up for each other. With a daily meditation practice, we show up for ourselves and meet ourselves wherever we are. We learn to sit with ourselves and to listen with wonder, with care, and with love. We begin to unravel the stories we tell about ourselves, and see our true nature underneath the weather storms of our thoughts and emotions. Most importantly, we begin to free ourselves from the illusion of separateness.
When we learn to hold space for ourselves, then we can be truly present for each other. We can meet others who are different from us and relate to them as if they are a part of us we do not yet know; as if they are family. We can listen to them with wonder, with care, and with love. We can hear their pain and respond with empathy. We can celebrate in their joy. When we “see no stranger,” we practice yoga as love in action.
Valarie writes, “When a critical mass of people come together to wonder about one another, grieve with one another, and fight with and for one another, we begin to build the solidarity needed for collective liberation and transformation - a solidarity rooted in love.” Yoga teaches us that we are all connected, and that our liberations are intertwined. It is time to take our yoga off our mats and work towards collective liberation. It is time to build authentic relationships with ourselves and with each other. Our practice cannot exist in isolation, but must rather exist in community.
Yoga is not just a practice on the mat or cushion, it is a practice of orienting to ourselves and to each other from a place of love. The foundational question inspired by Valarie Kaur , “What would love have me do?” I encourage you to sit with that question, and to ask it anytime you find yourself shutting down and hardening your heart, or anytime you feel yourself stuck in judgment, habit, or story. “What would love have me do?” Notice how it feels in your body to ask that question. Notice how it changes your relationship to the moment, to yourself, and to others.
